mistaken for a mat

2011-05-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

i cant remember what came out of my mouth
but there you were, back alive again (as with all my dreams)
and I hugged you so tightly, and cried so much
regretting not having spent quality time with you
and wishing that you had never left

2006-08-25T04:45:00.000-07:00

www.mistakenforamat.blogspot.com

2006-08-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

sorry guys to disappoint you all again..

unexplainable high

2006-08-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

guess who called this morning at 4.29am..*yawnz*

even more post camp thoughts

2006-08-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

i cant believe how some people can have the best of all worlds..like how they can be chio and intelligent at the same time..it makes me wonder how does god decide who gets to be chio, who does not, who gets to be smart and who ends up a dumb ass..and who gets to be chio and smart..

signs that you are turning gay 2

2006-08-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

signs that you are turning gay 2: i just realised that the song "fa ru xue" by Jay Chou is damn nice..wished i could sing like him..
then i could serenade some girls with my singing..

some post camp thoughts

2006-08-04T07:02:00.000-07:00

just came back from business camp..the best thing about it is probably making new friends. heard that it was much more slack than the sports and smux camp that i was happily kicked out off. the highlight was the last night when they played this dancing game. the joke was on this particular fellow. they called out 20 people, blindfolded them and told them to dance to a different song each time it was played. and after each time, the judges would eliminate a few. this particular guy simply did not know how to dance. well if u think that daren dances like a chicken, then you've gotta see this fellow. thrashy is an understatement. the thing is that the judges did not end his misery and purposely kept him on stage. his embarassment became a source of entertainment for the whole crowd. and they chanted like as if he was ricky martin.

its bad enough being embarassed. but being mocked at and not realise it at all..

the day i lost my superman

2006-07-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

2 chao recruits were happily relaxing (literally one corner) on the MRT seat with the train packed. to make matters worse, there was a couple standing just beside them with the wife carrying her child who is probably no more than 2 years old. and right on top of them was the sign "pls give up this seat to someone who needs it more than you do". i was extremely agitated. but that was when my superman left me..the superman who normally stands up to what is right just flew off. i was this close to telling those 2 botak pussies to be more considerate and give up their seats to the couple. but superman had to leave me at that moment..

in retrospect, it was probably not such a bad decision after all to teh-kan those botaks..i would probably have undermined the husbands role in the family as the protector and made him looked useless..

so since im not the kind that will report this to the straits times forum etc, i shall post as much details about them as possible and hope that the much surveilled blog scene in singapore by the higher authorities might do something abt it..
-im quite sure they were out from tekong BMTC: smart 4, botak, train coming from Pasir Ris station. yeapz definitely chao recruits.
-here's the killer part: their initials *evil grin* S K CHEN & Z H LEE (tah-ma-de disgrace the Lee family)
-KNOCK IT DOWN RECRUITS!!! BETTER WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!!!

the part i love most about the job...

2006-07-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

it was recess time and i was eating with my students (oh yeah i relief teach once in a while at Northland Pri) when this malay boy not from my class (at least a pri 2 student) came up to me and sticked out his hand and said "teacher, salem.." i think he wanted to do the shaking of hands followed by the touching of the heart where malay people do to express sincerity (can any malay correct me if im wrong? did i spell the term correctly, salem? coz thats roughly what the boy told me..)
anyway i told him that i am not a malay and he was rather embarrassed and ran away haha..poor kid..good thing he did not catch me consuming pork and go away with some warped idea about his religion..
the happiest time i am when teaching the children is when i get to teach them about ethics and morality..i dont have a proper civics and moral ed class but in between subjects like english, i will always seize the chance to educate them about topics such as stealing (they are only 8 yrs old lar dont expect me to teach them about homosexuality and stuff right..)
anyone who thinks that the moral standards of this world is fine and is not going downhill seriously needs to have his/her values re-evaluated.
this is what i love most about the job..for what use is there to bring up a well-educated being without a well-defined sense of morality?
oh yeah i also love flag lowering..all the high, unbroken screaming voices singing to the national and school anthem!

21st

2006-07-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

Qn: Do u need an elaborate party to celebrate your 21st just to be satisfied?

you have your ex-classmates of 5 yrs still with u..

you make a new friend..

turns out to be your lover!

plus
-american club lunch with waiii(nearly puked for eating too much)
-spending tea time with newpaper new face contestant(who turns out to be the only one who called me a f*cker on my birthday)
-chua babes watching Nacho Libre with u(its good i tell u..i mean the show!!!what were u thinking???)
-dinner with your family
-receiving a virtual happy birthday card(goo goo dolls)
-another one by post(thanks limin!!!)
-thousands of SMS and friendster msg wishing u well(actually im just exaggerating..i dont have so many friends)
Ans: what do u think?

upcoming movies!!!

2006-07-17T04:07:00.000-07:00

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2006-07-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

today is a classic example of how a gay can really spoil your day..omg i think soon i have to change this into some gay blog with the number of gay entries..i may sound paranoid abt all the gay attention im having..i may be or not but who can blame me..
lesson no. 1: never pee next to a person whom u think is gay..even safer, even if u dont think he is gay just dont pee next to him..heck it dun even pee next to a person! use the privacy of a cubical..
coz by peeing next to a gay u are subjecting yourself to his stares at your brother..your brother will never forgive u..was literally caught with my pants down man..fcuk if i wasnt peeing i swear i would have punched his face

do not read this

2006-07-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

i need a place to curse and swear..i know i realy shouldnt but..fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk knn ccb nb what the mother fcuking hell fcuk fcuk!!!!!
i just found out that my gay lover i mean the gay bugger who has the hots for me is the nephew of the richest man in singapore..why must my life turn out this way..i mean i have a really blessed life than compared to most people but still..plus a whole lot of other fustrating things which warrants another round of fcuk fcuk fcuk knn ccb bastard child mother fcuker impotent piece of biatch shit

signs that you are turning gay 1

2006-07-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

signs that you are turning gay 1: "fall to pieces" by avril lavigne suddenly becomes your favourite song

2006-07-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

im gonna start a new thesis soon: why couples enjoy making out on the escalator

the paradox of insanity

2006-07-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

this is probably the most profound entry in my whole life..i havnt really scrutinised it for loopholes yet as it was just a passing thought..comments are opened to the floor..
insane: Very foolish; absurd
but who defines what is insanity? i THINK sanity is defined by a majority of sane people declaring the behaviour of a minority absurd..now what happens when the majority is reduced to a minority and vice-versa..say in this world there are 10 crazy people and only 1 sane person..then the 10 crazy people will find the behaviour of the 1 sane person absurd and declare him insane (at the same time declare themselves sane)..thus a reversal of roles and actions which were deemed insane like slicing your foot off are now perfectly sane actions
i think this can be applied to other topics..like the paradox of morality etc..
ok dont mind me im just shooting my mouth off without thinking..

2006-06-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

damn it no takers???

2006-06-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

check out these mr happy shoes from adidas..i really want to get one of these but its like $179.00 and i would never spend that kind of money on a pair of shoes, not at least for now..that is why i desperately need a secret admirer who is willing to splash out that kind of money for me..any takers? plus my birthday is about a month away..c'm on where are u secret lover???!!!

2006-06-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

after talking to one of my relatives for abt an hour, i just realised that he is damn damn damn ugly. not that there is anything wrong with being ugly, but if you are a dick in character and are still ugly then thats something majorly wrong..thought they were supposed to make up their physical deficiency with something good inside..oh well..

2006-06-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

xian sch is starting..not that im really affected by it..haha all the suckers from pri sch to JC..L-O-S-E-R-S!!!wish that i was still doing MYMCA camps..the kids are bratty and all but still they are so fun to handle due to their innocence and adorability..well time to face the real world..unforgiving and shitty adults kiss my ass

its long but just read

2006-06-25T04:58:00.000-07:00

ok i think this is damn funny..got it from the blog of one of my ex-student i think..

i will begin by randomly naming 20 ppl whom i know..dont be depressed if your name is not selected..if it is then u are somehow involved inside
1. lionel bird
2. wai min
3. chiam
4. charlie bird
5. dreaded chinese teacher Wu paik kah
6. cuong
7. jasbir singh
8. porn surfing teacher mr devandran
9. joy boo jia wen
10. Mrs creffield
11. kim yon soo
12. cherie tohmato
13. the devil
14. valene kwan
15. chris yeo (haha for kicks)
16. Miss Ganga
17. Maths teacher Matthew Yeo
18. toilet cleaner auntie at acjc
19. ruoxi
20. myself

When did you meet 14?
ACJC..the cool sailer who sat beside me during GP class

What will you do when you never meet 1 before?
haha er the world will be a much nicer place to live in

What will you do if 20 and 9 dated?
hmm joy do u like me?..i will just make fun of her all the time and call her jiawen

Did you ever like 19?
oh my gosh this qn sounds like its modified by me but its not..the ans is obvious

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
for the info of those who dunno matt yeo is prob in his 40s while cuong is 21 this yr so yeah they shud make a good couple..

Describe 3.
porn surfing..nuff said

Do you think 8 is attractive?
definitely..you just have to hear him say "BLARDY RASCAL" in his indian accent..in fact i think he was the guy who acted in the richard gere advertisement "but there's only enuff for one bird"

Tell me something about 7.
damn cool and spontaneous..i pissed him off once and he nearly killed me

Do you know anything about 12's family members?
yeah i went to her house a few times..its like their wallpaper is made of money notes..but they are quite nice..

What's 8 favourite thing?
the name says it all

What will you do if 11 confess that he/she likes you?
i like him too

What language does 15 always speak?
eng duh..is there a sailing language?

Who is 9 going out with?
prob some hot canadian dude..no i bet its that superman guy in smallville..forgot his name..

How old is 16 now?
oh i will go for 30s?...ooppss sorry mdm

When is the last time you talked to 13?
oh he talks to me all the time..think its abt some recruitment drive or something..

Who's 2 favourite singer/band?
lots..i will go for coldplay

Would you date 4?
prob..after all he's a veteran of 6 world cups if u know wad i mean

What is 7 favourite colour?
i would go for red..he's always spreading his love

Is 15 single?
i think so..ask 14

What's 10 last name?
down there already

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
if im into fat korean guys

What school does 3 goes to?
not sure man..but i think he wants to go NUS for obvious reasons

What can you say about 18?
oh this i have to say..my fren mistook my ex-principal for the toilet cleaner b4..and another one was one of my soccer buddy actually had a crush on one of the younger looking cleaners..i wanted to beat him to his senses..c'm on man u are in ACJC leh

Where does 6 live?
the paddy fields of vietnam

What's your favourite thing about 5?
bullying her..come to think of it i was damn evil to her..i sincerely ask for forgiveness

Have you seen 1 naked?
its abt the size of my little finger..

2006-06-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

i hate it when random ppl come into your life..significant enough to make an impact but they dont stay for long, only making a cameo appearance..
anyway the mcdonalds crew really made me laugh..this small indian guy came out fully dressed in refereeing attire..whistle over his neck, socks pulled to knee level and all, taking orders.."i'll have a yellow card for diving pls followed by a direct free kick"

2006-06-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

bratty kidz..you just gotta love 'em

2006-06-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

whenever u are heart-broken dont let any idiot tell you that "there are many fishes in the ocean"..f*ck man obviously they weren't thinking about the hideous baracudas and the monstrous hammer-head sharks that are also lurking within..and i believe that are more of such species than say angel fishes..f*ck i dunno what im talking abt already..its a curse i tell you..the curse of the Kentucky Chicken..

brokeback brothers

2006-06-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

there goes the 10 yr deadly alliance...
all these years of nonsense...from the paik kahs to the devans
from worrying about our future wife to the theory of "why the toad gets the babes"
from spending useless afternoons slacking at lido oggling at chiobus to doing the same thing over and over again...
cya soon dude...

2006-06-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

some f*cker did this...
i was helping this blind man wait for his bus
so i was sitting down beside him when i heard a ringtone coming out from his bag...and it was an SMS alert tone!!! i mean which f*cker would send a blind person an SMS???

2006-06-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

kids from MYMCA...damn cute haha
including the BIG kid at the back..
"my advice to you is, never grow up my friends.."-Eric Cantona

2006-05-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

Every ACJCian especially if u are from arts..you gotta take a look at this..ok its kinda waste time but still u gotta take a look..a legend captured on video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCmIncf2oBs&search=sightings

leave me a msg if u cant figure out who the legend is (u deserve to die btw)

2006-05-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

I just had this damn evil idea..
looking at all the 21st birthday celebrations, and knowing that i will never organise one for myself, it would be damn expedient if i got a gf before my birthday..those damn entheu "student councilor" type..dont havta be damn chio, in fact ugly also can (sex can wait)..then she will organise the bestest 21st birthday celebration, invite everyone i know, get loads of presents (and obviously her's will be the best) then after all that is done then dump her...wahaha..

2006-05-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

"Most teens say no to premarital sex"
"95% opt for abstinence citing bleah bleah bleah.."
Recent findings from the Straight Times
Strange..then why are all my friends loosing their strawberries..

The CharzZzZ 21st birthday

2006-05-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

The terrible twins

My boyfriends bird and fish playing a fool with panties

5 years on and ACSI still rocks

Strictly for soccer fans

2006-05-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

Why playing for chelsea is like going into prostitution

Sure u get to earn big bucks (and trophies) but besides the first team regulars and manager, the fringe players put on happy faces and claim to enjoy playing for chelsea when deep down inside they know they are being treated like dirt..just to name some losers: Carvalho, Wright-Phillips, Geremi, Maniche, Robben (sometimes Duff), Crespo, (soon to be Makelele when Ballack arrives)

I dont understand why people choose to go somewhere where they know they will have a sucky future or defend the honour of something that doesnt defend theirs..

2006-04-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

"Every moment in my life I've always known my parents would go to the end of the earth for me. And when you have that kind of rock, you cant judge anyone who doesnt...most people dont"-Natalie Portman
this quote just about sums up how i feel about teaching in a neighbourhood school. Everyday after school i never fail to feel pissed off about how nonchalant the students are about their studies and their disrespectful nature..Pissed off, but not without sympathy for them and being overly judgmental..I can tell that most of them are from family backgrounds who do not exert the right kind of influence over their children, to bring them over from the dark side..so we cant totally blame them for turning out to be ah lians and ah bengs of society..i myself would have probably turned to the dark side had i not been properly brought up by my parents..

2006-04-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

now onto more embarrassing matters..was caught flirting with my female students during pe lesson by the male students haha.."eh sir u flirting ah"..my calm and collected answer was "ive got better taste.." haha..BUT obviously i WASNT flirting..just chatting with them..cant possibly jz not open my mouth if they talk to me right..so embarrassing to be accused of flirting with your students..

what are friends for

2006-04-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

its disappointing to know that when old acquaintances want to meet up, its only for earning a quick buck..in the space of less than 2 months, 2 friends whom i met from the army started msging me again, wanting to meet me BUT i realised later i was a mere pawn in their money making business..certainly adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "what are friends for"

2006-04-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

Woohoo i can just imagine tmr's headlines: Top PAP candidate makes grave grammatical error in speach (meant to be spelt as "speech" but just for the effect) If you happened to watch the 930pm news on channel 5 and when they covered the up-coming Singapore elections, a certain Dr Lim Wee Kiak was commenting on something i will never be interested in..but what struck me was when he said the word "irrigardless"..well actually its not even supposed to be called a word coz there is no such word!! There is only a "regardless", no irrigardless, irregardless, irrigutless or however you want to spell it..I can vision tuesday's headlines: Top PAP candidate replaced by unknown slacker irrigardless of his qualifications

the william hung show

2006-03-31T05:07:00.000-08:00

The craze in Singapore may be campus superstar (Theresa tseng is chio..oei daren dun be a craddle snatcher) but you've definitely gotta catch "yong bu yan bai" never say die!!..you may even call it "The William Hung Show"..I know when im being a joke but these people dont seem to know that they are being ridiculed at by millions of singaporeans..the title is appropriate, coz i will die laughing at every episode at these luckless losers..its like the gathering of talentless losers on one show and when the gahmen wants to start its programme of social engineering they can easily start by eradicating the people on this show..then they can wait for chee soon juan to save them hee hee hee

2006-03-24T06:33:00.000-08:00

i would like to congratulate the chinuh er sorry i mean Singapore table tennis team for winning gold in the commonwealth games this year. The chinuh er i mean Singapore women's table tennis team have done extremely well to help Singapore win gold in the commonwealth games. Its the talent of the chinuh er i mean Singaporeans who bleah bleah bleah..ok i think u get what i mean..not as if i can do better coz im one big fat lazy slob who can only kao bei at anything..
anywayz check out this kick ass picture..think its damn funny..enjoy!

Gays

2006-03-19T21:03:00.000-08:00

if only all gays can be as understanding as this guy..and stop bothering me

2006-03-12T07:52:00.000-08:00

Im cravvviiinnnggg for some soccer..i need to play with some balls...

Erection, the double edged sword

2006-03-12T07:32:00.000-08:00

Warning: this is sort of an X rated entry to amuse myself so if u are underage plz leave this page..if you are of legal age or underage but feeling rebellious then read on..

I think the most perfect example of a double edged sword is an erection..
If one has an erection in public, with the bulge in the pants, it will seem like a tail is dangling in front of him and people will instantaneously know that the bugger has been having naughty thoughts..
But if one did not have the ability to have an erection at all, oh pity the girl (or guy *gasp*) who will be with the erectionless one..

Great advancements in technology

2006-03-10T18:33:00.000-08:00

I can almost swear to you one way to drive yourself crazy is to try and apply for a relief teaching post online..certain fields cant be accessed..some fields are even bug ridden..some terms used i have never seen before..the best part of it is that i cant even click on the SUBMIT button..

However since i am going to be part of MOE's evergrowing underlings of students' nightmares, i shall give it the benefit of the doubt that it is my computer that is obsolete, it is my computer that is struck with whatever virus, i have a poor vocab and my obstinate mouse refuses to change its cursor to allow me to click submit

My pink IC

2006-03-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

Something i lost for 2 yrs plus..

Pessimist: they took away two yrs of our lives
Optimist: i get to know girls two yours my junior in uni

2006-03-09T08:10:00.000-08:00

Aw damn it SMU grads 100% employment rate..another kick arse reason to increase school fees..

hungry dont eat sand

2006-03-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

Was buying dinner at the kopitiam when i came across 4 stall vendors trying to flirt with this female..ok she looked reasonable from the back..slendor legs etc but when i saw her face i nearly wanted to reprimand the vendors for resorting to flirt with such a "babe" "eh give me your number leh.." "eh wo shi ni de qing ren" (i am your lover) this line nearly sent me to A&E..did they just come out from the army? were they working at the stall for too long? why did they have to resort to such means..As I have always said.."hungry dont eat sand..desparate dont go for crap.."why dont people listen..

Daren the auntie killer

2006-03-05T01:17:00.000-08:00

My mother put me into an embarrassing situation today by asking me to queue for her at plaza singapura consisting of only aunties and uncles to purchase linzhi which were going at cut prices. A small group of aunties were in front of me discussing which pills to buy etc and I was pulled into the conversation. Forced to pull off my charm and unwittingly became an auntie killer when i tried to ask one of them to queue for me to purchase the pills. She was kind enough to do so but somehow suspected something when she also wanted my HP No. so that she could pass me the goods later..and somehow she succeeded. Added to my list of admirers from the troll-looking females and gay men are discount hunting aunties..

2006-02-28T09:32:00.000-08:00

Hey there looks like you stumbled upon my new blog..the reason for this new blog is to distant myself from army life now that im about to ORD and the previous blog happens to be during those army days..
While the old blog had no educational value whatsoever, this blog has also no educational value whatsoever..while the old blog was largely about desperate misadventures, the fate of this blog will depend on how my after army life will be like..drastic revolution or same old boring joe..only time will tell..